After a conversation with Mitch last night I find myself musing about this subject.
Why do I do the things that I do?
I do them because I think I am supposed to. But is that enough? I don't think so.
I also do a lot of things to please people or to gain their approval. But that just brings along feelings of guilt if I don't perform to their standard, or the standard that I think they are placing on me.
Doing things for other people certainly isn't all bad. I believe that is a core value as a Christ follower but that is not the type of "doing" that I am talking about.
The things in life that I do, the things that drive my every moment, why do I do them?
I want so much more than to do them because I am supposed to. I want even my good things to be more than a check list of daily requirements. How does one live doing everything to glorify God? Shouldn't that be my goal? I am a Christian after all.
But how often do I just do...without even consulting or considering Him? A LOT!
Most of the time, if I am honest, I do my own thing and "pray" it goes well. But I want to change.
So now I am in a place of pulling in two directions. There is the world on one side and doing all things to glorify God on the other. And trying to wrap my mind around making choices to honor God, not worrying about what everyone else will think or would do can make me feel crazy some times.
Doing all things to glorify God seems like a stretch when I am just trying to keep it together while changing a poopy diaper and helping my 3 year old go to the bathroom at the same time.
Where is my joy in chopping potatoes for dinner? Do I glorify God when I iron the clothes and vacuum floors?
I do hope so but most of all I hope that I see more of Him throughout my day and that I thank him for the everyday things that I find mundane but might just make Him smile.
I long to be transformed but the renewing of my mind seems way beyond my grasp. Not impossible just not something that I can do...on my own.
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