I can't believe it, I am in care by parent!!!
Wyatt and I have been in this room together since 3pm. I have fed him twice, changed diapers, checked his vitals, and just held him while I watched tv and ate dinner. So far we are doing really well and hope to be out of here a little after noon tomorrow.
Can you believe it? Me Neither :-)
God is so good to have taken us through this journey and taken care of us so well. It isn't over now, I know. Know I go home and am mommy to 3 and wife to Mitch. It will be a wonderful change of scene. I know it is still work taking care of a newborn and all that running a house includes, but I am so ready! Bring it.
Was reading through a devotional that Mitch's Nanny gave me and it was really good. "Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and i will dwell in the house of the LORD forever." Psalm 23:6
The devotional talked about being disappointed in God because of our circumstances and how we can choose to keep faith in God or turn away. It is our choice, but God doesn't change no matter what we are going thorugh. That was really what held us all together these last 3 1/2 months. When I chose not to feel sorry for myself but to rejoice in the Lord, for he is good and He never changes, life was better. Life was doable. Life was good.
I am so thankful for the lessons learned these last months. Thankful for the new perspective I have on life, family, possessions, people, heaven, and purpose. God is good to draw us to himself. It is his grace that draws us in and his mercy that allows us to fellowship with him.
Thank God that he has called you into fellowship with him. We would be hopelessly lost without him. Romans 8 is awesome. vs 15-39 really struck me today though. Take a few minutes and read through it. I hope it encourages you and that the Spirit will draw your heart more deeply to our "Abba, Father"
Thanks so much for your prayers and support. We are finally headed home! Will let you know how life at home goes. Grace and peace to you in Christ Jesus!
Friday, October 21, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Closer to Home
Two nights ago, the 18th at 9:15pm, Wyatt took a stand. He pulled out his feeding tube for the last time. Since he had pulled it out and had been eating well the nurse asked for the doctor's permission to leave it out and see if he could do without it. He has been doing great ever since. He was still struggling a bit with his oxygen saturations so they decided to let him start "demand feeding." Their thinking behind this was that he would eat more and breath better if he decided when he was awake enough to eat. It has worked really well. His oxygen level has fallen a few times since then but has been of his oxygen since yesterday at 8am.
He is doing so well that they have started talking about the things we need to do before we head home. We took the CPR class today, went over almost all of the discharge papers (they show us how to take care of the baby on our own), brought the car seat in to make sure it hadn't been recalled and tomorrow he will take his car seat test. He has to sit in the car seat for a little over 2 hours and keep all his vitals strong. They do this to be sure that if something goes wrong he will be able to stay alive for the trip all the way home and back again. This is the only NICU nearby so this is where he would come back if need be.
They have started talking "care by parent" which means that I will get to move into a little room by the NICU and practice taking care of Wyatt without them for 24-48 hours, depending on how well he does. I am hoping to do that tomorrow and be home before the weekend is out...but if not I will still be okay. But, oh to be home, what unspeakable joy!
Tonight he is taking a 12 hour apnea test to make sure that he is breathing well at all times. If the test doesn't go well they will send us home with an apnea machine. I hope he does well, but part of me would like the safety of the machine. I always worry about my babies when I lay them down to sleep. I lie in bed wondering if they are still breathing and that was with healthy full term babies. So I imagine this will be harder to not worry about. God has taken care of him so far so I'll have to trust Him to keep him breathing if that is His plan. OR I could just keep him strapped to me at all times...
Have been thinking about doing that anyway to make up for all the time lost to us in the NICU. We have some serious mommy Wyatt cuddle time to make up.
I'll keep you posted, as always. Thank you so much for your prayers and support! We're almost home! After 3 1/2 months, we are almost home.
He is doing so well that they have started talking about the things we need to do before we head home. We took the CPR class today, went over almost all of the discharge papers (they show us how to take care of the baby on our own), brought the car seat in to make sure it hadn't been recalled and tomorrow he will take his car seat test. He has to sit in the car seat for a little over 2 hours and keep all his vitals strong. They do this to be sure that if something goes wrong he will be able to stay alive for the trip all the way home and back again. This is the only NICU nearby so this is where he would come back if need be.
They have started talking "care by parent" which means that I will get to move into a little room by the NICU and practice taking care of Wyatt without them for 24-48 hours, depending on how well he does. I am hoping to do that tomorrow and be home before the weekend is out...but if not I will still be okay. But, oh to be home, what unspeakable joy!
Tonight he is taking a 12 hour apnea test to make sure that he is breathing well at all times. If the test doesn't go well they will send us home with an apnea machine. I hope he does well, but part of me would like the safety of the machine. I always worry about my babies when I lay them down to sleep. I lie in bed wondering if they are still breathing and that was with healthy full term babies. So I imagine this will be harder to not worry about. God has taken care of him so far so I'll have to trust Him to keep him breathing if that is His plan. OR I could just keep him strapped to me at all times...
Have been thinking about doing that anyway to make up for all the time lost to us in the NICU. We have some serious mommy Wyatt cuddle time to make up.
I'll keep you posted, as always. Thank you so much for your prayers and support! We're almost home! After 3 1/2 months, we are almost home.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
More of the same
Ready to be all together as a family again.
Wyatt really is doing well though. He is eating so well that they are letting him sleep up to 4 hours at a time now before feeding him again. He is taking an of average 15mls over what they require of him at each feeding. So that is great. The bummer comes in because he is back on oxygen today. He just can't seem to figure out how to eat really well and breath really well at the same time. Either that or the eating just tires him out so much that he can't regulate his breathing. It is hard to see him struggle to thrive on his own. But he is still 10 days from his due date, so he has time. And if we stay past his due date, so be it. Just want what is best for him.
Please keep praying for Wyatt to get strong so we can go home. Pray for the rest of us to have joy in the waiting and patience while we wait. Pray for me to be a happy mommy as I drive from one place to another, each time leaving at least one of my children behind. Pray for Mitch as he is away from us a lot more in this season than he was even when I was in the hospital. And please pray for the other families in the NICU who have children who are far worse off then Wyatt. Pray that we would be a light to them, that God would give opportunities to minister to them and that He would give them peace in their storm.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
October 15th
Had the same nurse today that made the decision to change his bottle earlier in the week and started all this mess. Had to pray a lot before I saw her and was thankful for the reminder from Romans 12 that it is my job to renew my mind and not conform to this world. If I didn't serve the Lord then it would be fine to tell that lady off. But we have a higher call and I am glad that he reminded me of that this morning so that I could honor Him in the NICU.
Wyatt is doing better but is still weak. This morning I tried to nurse him and he immediately went haywire. They were going to just feed him through the tube but while they were getting it ready he calmed down and was alert and sucking his fingers, so I asked if we could try the bottle. He took 1/2 of his feeding. I was glad that I asked because the feeding tube really does feel like failure to me lately.
When I got to the car I turned on the radio and thought there had better be something encouraging on or I'm turning it off.
"And though my life is torn, I will praise you in this storm" was the first line I heard. It was perfect for the moment. Gotta love Casting Crowns. The song goes something like this: "I lift my eyes up to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord maker of heaven and earth.
I will praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands cause you are who you are, no matter where I am. Every tear I cry, you hold in your hands. And though my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm."
That really is how I feel. I have to choose to praise him in this storm that we are living though. My other alternative is to pity myself and ask "why me?" And it isn't about me, it is about Him!
He is being glorified in this situation and he will continue to be. It is up to me to trust him, by his grace. And it helps to remember that he knows all my tears, worries, stress and he cares about them and carries them.
I truly serve a Great God!
The rest of the day was more of the same. He ate pretty good and had to be tube fed part. He did eat the whole bottle for Mitch at 7pm. He chugged it in 8 minutes flat. I also got to give him a bath for the first time. Not his first bath, that would be gross. He is a month old today. But it was my first time to bath him. It went well even though I was nervous at first. It was different from bathing a kid in the kitchen sink. There was an audience this time and the nurses made me nervous. But Wyatt did great. He didn't' even cry until I took him out of the water to dry him off.
They are going to try to take him off of the oxygen tonight. Praying that he will be strong enough to breath well on his own.
I'll let you know how he does. Thanks again for praying.
Wyatt is doing better but is still weak. This morning I tried to nurse him and he immediately went haywire. They were going to just feed him through the tube but while they were getting it ready he calmed down and was alert and sucking his fingers, so I asked if we could try the bottle. He took 1/2 of his feeding. I was glad that I asked because the feeding tube really does feel like failure to me lately.
When I got to the car I turned on the radio and thought there had better be something encouraging on or I'm turning it off.
"And though my life is torn, I will praise you in this storm" was the first line I heard. It was perfect for the moment. Gotta love Casting Crowns. The song goes something like this: "I lift my eyes up to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord maker of heaven and earth.
I will praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands cause you are who you are, no matter where I am. Every tear I cry, you hold in your hands. And though my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm."
That really is how I feel. I have to choose to praise him in this storm that we are living though. My other alternative is to pity myself and ask "why me?" And it isn't about me, it is about Him!
He is being glorified in this situation and he will continue to be. It is up to me to trust him, by his grace. And it helps to remember that he knows all my tears, worries, stress and he cares about them and carries them.
I truly serve a Great God!
The rest of the day was more of the same. He ate pretty good and had to be tube fed part. He did eat the whole bottle for Mitch at 7pm. He chugged it in 8 minutes flat. I also got to give him a bath for the first time. Not his first bath, that would be gross. He is a month old today. But it was my first time to bath him. It went well even though I was nervous at first. It was different from bathing a kid in the kitchen sink. There was an audience this time and the nurses made me nervous. But Wyatt did great. He didn't' even cry until I took him out of the water to dry him off.
They are going to try to take him off of the oxygen tonight. Praying that he will be strong enough to breath well on his own.
I'll let you know how he does. Thanks again for praying.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Some fun times
I am usually updating you on what is going on in the NICU and let's face it, it is not always happy stuff. But we have a lot of fun here in Springfield. Kennedi and William are having a blast at the Ronald McDonald house, all the fun parks that we find, going to football games at the Kickapoo Chiefs stadium and watching Daddy and the future men boys play flag football every Saturday. We went to Andy's together (the fist time for Kennedi, William and myself) and had a blast...as you will see. My mom made a map of the back yard and took the kids on an adventure to find treasure! They found some snacks at the end of their journey and thought it was awesome. They play in the playroom every day, have too many books to read in a lifetime but we are trying to get to them all (not the mean ones though, Kennedi reminds me of that). William and Kennedi have started swinging in big swings without any straps and climb like monkeys up rock walls and slides. William very bravely shouts "I climbing" as he scurries up the wall. He is also a fan of "I do it my elf" that last word is supposed to be self but he says it elf. Too cute :-) The kids got to paint for the first time in their lives...yes I am that mom who never let them paint because it would be too much of a mess to deal with, so thank you Ronald McDonald house volunteers for doing it for me. They really did love it...maybe I'll do it when we get home...maybe.
The Ronald McDonald House
Several of you have asked what our living situation looks like right now so I thought I'd share some photos of the Ronald McDonald house with you. We have been very blessed to get to stay here. The staff are great and take wonderful care of us. Donate to them! :-)
Another day another journey
Well, thank you all for your prayers, but today was another hard day.
Wyatt did great last night, he ate even more than he was supposed to. YAY!
But this morning a little before 7am his respiration rate shot up and his oxygen level bottomed out below 70%.
When I arrived at 7 to feed him, he was back on oxygen and doing so poorly that they would not let me feed him. They weren't even going to let me hold him until I promised that if he got worse I would put him back. I got to hold him for 30 minutes. He was still breathing really fast and they had ordered another chest x-ray. I spoke to the doctor and she was very reassureing saying that he was getting close to being ready to go home but that having him eat all his feedings for the last 24 hours must have over tired him. They had not put the feeding tube back in yet and wanted to wait till 8:30 to see if he would eat on his own. I had to go home to wake up the kids so I left and said some prayers.
When I called at 9:30am he had his tube back in. They had tried to feed him but he choked immediately so they had to do the full feeding through the tube. They took the chest x-ray and it looked a little hazy but not bad. So all that was left to do was wait and see how he did when I got to go back at 12:30.
I walked in at 12:30 expecting to nurse but was told that he was too worked up to nurse but if we could get him to calm down (respiration rate below 60) I could try the bottle. When the nurse checked it was right at 60 so she let me try.
While I was holding him waiting for him to calm down to eat I noticed that his bottle had changed again to a much slower flow bottle that his occupational therapist had ordered last Friday. I asked about it because one of the nurses had switched him to a different bottle on Tuesday and even after I asked her to change it back she refused. This information sent my new nurse on a hunt for answers. I was very thankful for her. Some of the nurses don't take me very seriously, so to be listened to and to see her take action was refreshing.
She found the day when Wyatt's nurse had changed the bottle from the ordered one to a faster flow and what do you know, it was the day that things all fell apart. He had been doing fine and that day he was on oxygen for the first time since he was a week old, had three different blood tests in two days and two chest x-rays. My nurse said she couldn't say that the change in the bottles was what made all this happen but that it was "quite a coincidence."
I was upset...okay really mad at that first nurse who changed things just because she couldn't find the right bottle and was too lazy to go back and get a new one. But then I was just really thankful for Ashlee my nurse today and all she did to make it right. I now have the authority to tell any nurse "No, you may not change his bottle unless his OT orders it." Feels good to know that I can fight for my son and do it with permission from the NICU staff.
In the midst of all this research and new found authority, he finally settled down. He took the whole bottle and did really well. He was still on oxygen but it was good to see him eating well again. I got to hold him for a while longer and was off to the Ronald McDonald house again to be mommy to Kennedi and William.
His third feeding of the day was at 3:30 and we got him real worked up before we tried to feed him. He does not like getting vital signs or blood pressure taken. He was even mad when I took his temperature. He calmed down at 4 and literally chugged the milk from the bottle. He ate all 45mls in 8 minutes!!! And then he passed out. :-) So I just held him close and sang to him till it was time to go back home.
As of tonight his respiration is getting better and his is down to a very small amount of oxygen being added to his air. He did have to be tube fed at 7 but I think if we had been able to be there they might have tried to calm him down and then feed.
So we are letting Wyatt have a day or two to bounce back from this hard week and then they will reevaluate him to see if they will take the tube out again, etc.
Thanks so much for all of your prayers, encouragement and support. Please keep us in your prayers. And please pray for wisdom for all those taking care of our son.
Also I met a really nice grandmother on my way out of the hospital yesterday and her two year old granddaughter, Lainy, is in the ICU with brain cancer. They don't think that they can do anything for her. I can't imagine the agony that their family is going through to see their sweet daughter go from full of joy and energy to being confined to bed and struggling to survive. God knows what is to come in their lives, please pray that they will draw near to him in this time when nothing makes sense.
Wyatt did great last night, he ate even more than he was supposed to. YAY!
But this morning a little before 7am his respiration rate shot up and his oxygen level bottomed out below 70%.
When I arrived at 7 to feed him, he was back on oxygen and doing so poorly that they would not let me feed him. They weren't even going to let me hold him until I promised that if he got worse I would put him back. I got to hold him for 30 minutes. He was still breathing really fast and they had ordered another chest x-ray. I spoke to the doctor and she was very reassureing saying that he was getting close to being ready to go home but that having him eat all his feedings for the last 24 hours must have over tired him. They had not put the feeding tube back in yet and wanted to wait till 8:30 to see if he would eat on his own. I had to go home to wake up the kids so I left and said some prayers.
When I called at 9:30am he had his tube back in. They had tried to feed him but he choked immediately so they had to do the full feeding through the tube. They took the chest x-ray and it looked a little hazy but not bad. So all that was left to do was wait and see how he did when I got to go back at 12:30.
I walked in at 12:30 expecting to nurse but was told that he was too worked up to nurse but if we could get him to calm down (respiration rate below 60) I could try the bottle. When the nurse checked it was right at 60 so she let me try.
While I was holding him waiting for him to calm down to eat I noticed that his bottle had changed again to a much slower flow bottle that his occupational therapist had ordered last Friday. I asked about it because one of the nurses had switched him to a different bottle on Tuesday and even after I asked her to change it back she refused. This information sent my new nurse on a hunt for answers. I was very thankful for her. Some of the nurses don't take me very seriously, so to be listened to and to see her take action was refreshing.
She found the day when Wyatt's nurse had changed the bottle from the ordered one to a faster flow and what do you know, it was the day that things all fell apart. He had been doing fine and that day he was on oxygen for the first time since he was a week old, had three different blood tests in two days and two chest x-rays. My nurse said she couldn't say that the change in the bottles was what made all this happen but that it was "quite a coincidence."
I was upset...okay really mad at that first nurse who changed things just because she couldn't find the right bottle and was too lazy to go back and get a new one. But then I was just really thankful for Ashlee my nurse today and all she did to make it right. I now have the authority to tell any nurse "No, you may not change his bottle unless his OT orders it." Feels good to know that I can fight for my son and do it with permission from the NICU staff.
In the midst of all this research and new found authority, he finally settled down. He took the whole bottle and did really well. He was still on oxygen but it was good to see him eating well again. I got to hold him for a while longer and was off to the Ronald McDonald house again to be mommy to Kennedi and William.
His third feeding of the day was at 3:30 and we got him real worked up before we tried to feed him. He does not like getting vital signs or blood pressure taken. He was even mad when I took his temperature. He calmed down at 4 and literally chugged the milk from the bottle. He ate all 45mls in 8 minutes!!! And then he passed out. :-) So I just held him close and sang to him till it was time to go back home.
As of tonight his respiration is getting better and his is down to a very small amount of oxygen being added to his air. He did have to be tube fed at 7 but I think if we had been able to be there they might have tried to calm him down and then feed.
So we are letting Wyatt have a day or two to bounce back from this hard week and then they will reevaluate him to see if they will take the tube out again, etc.
Thanks so much for all of your prayers, encouragement and support. Please keep us in your prayers. And please pray for wisdom for all those taking care of our son.
Also I met a really nice grandmother on my way out of the hospital yesterday and her two year old granddaughter, Lainy, is in the ICU with brain cancer. They don't think that they can do anything for her. I can't imagine the agony that their family is going through to see their sweet daughter go from full of joy and energy to being confined to bed and struggling to survive. God knows what is to come in their lives, please pray that they will draw near to him in this time when nothing makes sense.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Feeding tube out!
Wyatt has had a lot of ups and downs lately but with all of it he has still been eating really well. He has only had to use the feeding tube twice in two days. He is also off the oxygen and doing pretty well. His oxygen saturation goes down now and then but doesn't stay down for long.
The doctor has put him on a 12 hour trial to see if he can eat what he needs without the tube. I had to promise not to have a meltdown if he had to get the tube in again in the morning. I promised, feeling confident that God's timing is over all of this so if Wyatt is not ready to go it alone we'll just keep waiting and praying.
So far he has eaten twice and has taken just under 100mls. His minimum requirement is 150mls, so he is doing well and is close. He could take that much in one feeding. So we are hopeful and praying for him to be able to do this on his own. That is one of the biggest steps toward going home that we have left.
Please join us in praying for Wyatt to be strong enough to do what he needs to do to get home...in God's perfect time. We've been here a month today (3 and 1/2 months total) and sure would love to be home as a family. But have been learning to wait for the last three months so we are prepared to stick it out as long as we need to.
I'll let you know how the night goes.
Thanks for all your prayers. Our family sure feels them. Energy and joy that have no rational reason to be there :-)
Grace to you.
The doctor has put him on a 12 hour trial to see if he can eat what he needs without the tube. I had to promise not to have a meltdown if he had to get the tube in again in the morning. I promised, feeling confident that God's timing is over all of this so if Wyatt is not ready to go it alone we'll just keep waiting and praying.
So far he has eaten twice and has taken just under 100mls. His minimum requirement is 150mls, so he is doing well and is close. He could take that much in one feeding. So we are hopeful and praying for him to be able to do this on his own. That is one of the biggest steps toward going home that we have left.
Please join us in praying for Wyatt to be strong enough to do what he needs to do to get home...in God's perfect time. We've been here a month today (3 and 1/2 months total) and sure would love to be home as a family. But have been learning to wait for the last three months so we are prepared to stick it out as long as we need to.
I'll let you know how the night goes.
Thanks for all your prayers. Our family sure feels them. Energy and joy that have no rational reason to be there :-)
Grace to you.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
The last two days
Wyatt had a blood transfusion yesterday(10/10/11). He was anemic, not uncommon for premature babies since they have a harder time making more blood than term babies and they have their blood taken a lot to test for all kinds of things. The nurses reassured me that this was not an emergency procedure and that it should help his energy level as well as his coloring, etc. So that went well and he was doing well the rest of the day.
Today I called the NICU and the doctor had said that we could try to see if Wyatt could eat by himself with out the feeding tube. The feeding tube would remain in his nose, but if he ate 180mls in 12 hours or 4 feedings, they would take it out that night. We were stoked. I had thought that the blood transfusion would be a setback but this was looking good. Once the feeding tube is out it is only a matter of days till you get to got home...
Things looked good at his first two feedings, but his third he didn't take much so he needed a big feed at 4pm for us to make it. I was really hoping for it...a bit too much to be honest. But when I got there my perspective changed. He had two spells of reduced oxygen saturation in his blood while he was in deep sleep that day and the doctors were worried that it might mean he had a respiratory infection or pneumonia. The nurse had just finished taking blood work and had ordered a chest x-ray. He was on oxygen and was very tired from all the blood work. He ate a little but had to be fed the rest through the tube. The tests came back negative for infection but the x-ray was a bit hazy so the doctor ordered the tests to be taken again tomorrow morning. We are praying that everything is fine and that he is not sick but we are thankful that they are taking every precaution to keep him safe.
Sufficed to say he did not make is 180mls in 12 hours so the feeding tube is still in, but he did great at his 7pm and 10pm feedings so one never knows when he'll be strong enough to do it all on his own. We are praying for patience and trust in the Lord for His timing to bring Wyatt home, not ours.
I'll let you know if anything changes. Thank you all so much for your prayers and support in this hard time for our family. We have been so blessed by all of your care for us. God bless you too!
Today I called the NICU and the doctor had said that we could try to see if Wyatt could eat by himself with out the feeding tube. The feeding tube would remain in his nose, but if he ate 180mls in 12 hours or 4 feedings, they would take it out that night. We were stoked. I had thought that the blood transfusion would be a setback but this was looking good. Once the feeding tube is out it is only a matter of days till you get to got home...
Things looked good at his first two feedings, but his third he didn't take much so he needed a big feed at 4pm for us to make it. I was really hoping for it...a bit too much to be honest. But when I got there my perspective changed. He had two spells of reduced oxygen saturation in his blood while he was in deep sleep that day and the doctors were worried that it might mean he had a respiratory infection or pneumonia. The nurse had just finished taking blood work and had ordered a chest x-ray. He was on oxygen and was very tired from all the blood work. He ate a little but had to be fed the rest through the tube. The tests came back negative for infection but the x-ray was a bit hazy so the doctor ordered the tests to be taken again tomorrow morning. We are praying that everything is fine and that he is not sick but we are thankful that they are taking every precaution to keep him safe.
Sufficed to say he did not make is 180mls in 12 hours so the feeding tube is still in, but he did great at his 7pm and 10pm feedings so one never knows when he'll be strong enough to do it all on his own. We are praying for patience and trust in the Lord for His timing to bring Wyatt home, not ours.
I'll let you know if anything changes. Thank you all so much for your prayers and support in this hard time for our family. We have been so blessed by all of your care for us. God bless you too!
Peace in the midst of the storm
I am so thankful to have God on my side. If not for him I would have surely been undone to the point of no return. This time has been more than my strength could handle. I have been stretched beyond my own strength. My supposed control has been shattered. I control nothing. I would have surely despaired if my only solace was myself or the wisdom of man. But Praise God that he is ever over all things. He is the one who sustains life, all life. Mine, Wyatt's, Kennedi, William, Mitch....and yours. And He is good. No matter what is going on in my life, He is good.
I was tempted and fell into the temptation to pity myself in this season. The last two weeks I was flustered at every turn, disheartened, upset, feeling pretty hopeless. And yet I knew there was a better way. I knew that in Christ I could find rest...I just couldn't get there. Couldn't give it to him..not yet. So I held on and lived my own little "hell" when all I had to do was let go. And he would catch me. He would hold me. He would sustain me.
It took today seeing Wyatt with the oxygen tubes in his nose, the thought of pneumonia or worse or nothing...It took tears that turned to praise. Songs came to my heart and out of my mouth right there in the NICU. The one that was the most powerful to me was "Blessed be the name of the Lord"
Blessed be your name in the land that is plentiful, where the streams of abundance flow, blessed be your name. Blessed be your name when I'm found in the desert place, though I walk through the wilderness, blessed be your name.
Every blessing you pour out I'll turn back to praise, though the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say.
Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be your name
you give and take away, you give and take away, My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name. "
I had been listening to John MacArthur teach on Psalm 103:1-4
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me bless his holy name, Bless the Lord, O my soul and forget not all his benefits who forgives all our sins, and heals all our diseases, who redeemed your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion.
When I took a look around me I saw that even in this hard, dark time He is good and He is blessing me and taking care of me. When I looked outside of myself and saw that there is a world of hurting people in the NICU, at the Ronald McDonald House in Springfield and beyond, I knew that this is bigger than just "why me" and it needed to turn into "Blessed be your name, no matter what may come, Blessed be your name!" "Thank you for being here with me, for sustaining my life and Wyatt's, thank you for holding this whole universe in your hands and knowing all that is going on at all times. Thank you for being sovereign and just and merciful. Thank you Lord for being Lord of all!"
And peace was ushered into my heart. Peace that this storm had drowned out of my heart for far to long.
Thank you Lord for peace and rest. You are good and I will continue to praise your name!
I was tempted and fell into the temptation to pity myself in this season. The last two weeks I was flustered at every turn, disheartened, upset, feeling pretty hopeless. And yet I knew there was a better way. I knew that in Christ I could find rest...I just couldn't get there. Couldn't give it to him..not yet. So I held on and lived my own little "hell" when all I had to do was let go. And he would catch me. He would hold me. He would sustain me.
It took today seeing Wyatt with the oxygen tubes in his nose, the thought of pneumonia or worse or nothing...It took tears that turned to praise. Songs came to my heart and out of my mouth right there in the NICU. The one that was the most powerful to me was "Blessed be the name of the Lord"
Blessed be your name in the land that is plentiful, where the streams of abundance flow, blessed be your name. Blessed be your name when I'm found in the desert place, though I walk through the wilderness, blessed be your name.
Every blessing you pour out I'll turn back to praise, though the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say.
Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be your name
you give and take away, you give and take away, My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name. "
I had been listening to John MacArthur teach on Psalm 103:1-4
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me bless his holy name, Bless the Lord, O my soul and forget not all his benefits who forgives all our sins, and heals all our diseases, who redeemed your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion.
When I took a look around me I saw that even in this hard, dark time He is good and He is blessing me and taking care of me. When I looked outside of myself and saw that there is a world of hurting people in the NICU, at the Ronald McDonald House in Springfield and beyond, I knew that this is bigger than just "why me" and it needed to turn into "Blessed be your name, no matter what may come, Blessed be your name!" "Thank you for being here with me, for sustaining my life and Wyatt's, thank you for holding this whole universe in your hands and knowing all that is going on at all times. Thank you for being sovereign and just and merciful. Thank you Lord for being Lord of all!"
And peace was ushered into my heart. Peace that this storm had drowned out of my heart for far to long.
Thank you Lord for peace and rest. You are good and I will continue to praise your name!
Psalm 84
1How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD of hosts!2My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the LORD; my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God.3Even the sparrow finds a home,and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, at your altars, O LORD of hosts, my King and my God. 4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house, ever singing your praise! Selah
5Blessed are those whose strength is in you, in whose heart are the highways to Zion.6As they go through the Valley of Baca they make it a place of springs;the early rain also covers it with pools.7They go from strength to strength; each one appears before God in Zion.8O LORD God of hosts, hear my prayer; give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah
9 Behold our shield, O God; look on the face of your anointed!10For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness.11For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor.No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.12O LORD of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in you!
Friday, October 7, 2011
The Whole Vaught Family
Here we are, the new Vaught clan. The kids get to see Wyatt once a week and this was the first time they met him on the 17th of September. A lot has happened since then, but we are very thankful to God for our new addition.
Monday, October 3, 2011
More life in Springfield
The last week has been a lot more up than down. Wyatt still struggles with Jaundice. They have diagnosed it as breast milk jaundice and took him off my milk for 24 hours yesterday. His level was down from 10.9 to 10.2. I was hoping that it would be further down than that but we are thankful that it is down.
He has started eating a lot better took his first full bottle on the 2nd with me and has had a lot of feeding times of over half of his milk. He is getting stronger! Praise God! He got to practice breastfeeding for the fist time today. It was very sweet. Felt like life is supposed to. Just wish we were at home not sitting in the middle of the NICU with partitions around us. But this is another step forward toward our goal of being home by the 27th.
Wyatt is starting to gain weight now and we are very excited. He weighs 5lbs 2 oz and is 18 inches long. When he was born he was 4lbs 12 oz and 17 3/4 inches long. Will have pics of him up soon.
There were several little issues with his muscles etc that resulted in his long stay in a low amniotic fluid environment. The 1o weeks inside were great in getting his insides developed, so the little things are not such a big deal. And they are doing better every day.
He had some tight muscles in his neck so he couldn't look to the left without pain. His right arm was very tight and couldn't straighten. His right foot was a bit twisted to the right. His Occupational Therapist, Ashlee, has done great work with him and all is going well. He has had three different boots for his foot and it looks just about as good as his left foot. His arm and neck are getting much looser and more flexible. We are very thankful for such good people taking care of our little man.
Thanks for your prayers and support. God is mighty!!!
He is taking care of all of us. Great is our God and greatly to be praised.
He has started eating a lot better took his first full bottle on the 2nd with me and has had a lot of feeding times of over half of his milk. He is getting stronger! Praise God! He got to practice breastfeeding for the fist time today. It was very sweet. Felt like life is supposed to. Just wish we were at home not sitting in the middle of the NICU with partitions around us. But this is another step forward toward our goal of being home by the 27th.
Wyatt is starting to gain weight now and we are very excited. He weighs 5lbs 2 oz and is 18 inches long. When he was born he was 4lbs 12 oz and 17 3/4 inches long. Will have pics of him up soon.
There were several little issues with his muscles etc that resulted in his long stay in a low amniotic fluid environment. The 1o weeks inside were great in getting his insides developed, so the little things are not such a big deal. And they are doing better every day.
He had some tight muscles in his neck so he couldn't look to the left without pain. His right arm was very tight and couldn't straighten. His right foot was a bit twisted to the right. His Occupational Therapist, Ashlee, has done great work with him and all is going well. He has had three different boots for his foot and it looks just about as good as his left foot. His arm and neck are getting much looser and more flexible. We are very thankful for such good people taking care of our little man.
Thanks for your prayers and support. God is mighty!!!
He is taking care of all of us. Great is our God and greatly to be praised.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
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